went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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