Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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