those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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