She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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