My room smells like vodka and shame
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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