I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
