How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
