..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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