Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
