I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize