Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
