it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
