But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
