so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
