Well douche your snatch and let's go!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
