Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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