Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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