Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
