Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
