So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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