there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
