If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
