Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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