u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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