my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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