When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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