So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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