I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
