grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
