im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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