did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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