all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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