I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize