You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
