i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
