"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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