She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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