I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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