She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
