I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
