i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
