So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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