I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
