oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
