yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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