so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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