Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
