At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
