you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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