Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
