And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
