the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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