i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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