I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He kissed a someone with a penis
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
