Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
