took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
