my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
