We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
