her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
