I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
