we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dick very happy bro
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
