Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
