Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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