Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
