i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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