So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
