I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize