Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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