come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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